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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?